3 Words to Stop Using Right Now

You’re Listening to the AntiFragile Entrepreneurship™ podcast, Episode # 7! 

Did you know the words you speak don’t only describe the world around you? They CREATE the world around you. I’ll tell you what I mean by that in just a second — and give you 3 of the words you need to STOP SAYING right now to help you get into the mindset of an entrepreneur, or that right entrepreneurial mindset. Stay tuned.

[INTRO TRACK]

Hey you guys — we’ve got a MEGA important topic we’re diving into here today. Let’s not waste any time — let’s get right into it as we’re going to look at what you need to do to cultivate the mindset of an entrepreneur, or better known as the right entrepreneurial mindset. 

Tell me, if you and I were having a conversation, and I told you something like:

“Well, I’m just so busy. I feel so overwhelmed. I’m trying my best, but I just feel like I never have enough time to get to everything. I can’t seem to get a handle on it. Things are just so hard right now! How will I ever be able to start a business? What is the right entrepreneurial mindset?”

What would your first thoughts be? Maybe that I’m really swamped, maybe that I’ve got too much going on, maybe that I need some help—which is preventing you from starting a business and developing a mindset of an entrepreneur. You would, essentially, buy into the story I was creating with my words, and take it at face value. This is a problem which prevents you from cultivating entrepreneurial mindset success.

Ok now, how about if I said something like this? “Well, we both know that life comes with ups and downs. I believe those are there to teach us something — something good! I’m taking things one moment at a time, to the best of my ability, with what I know right now. And, I’m choosing to stay focused on the things I can control, instead of the things I can’t.”

Totally different story, right? Chances are, you’d hear this and maybe feel inspired. Maybe you’d notice I still have a lot going on, but you’d pick up on a different energy behind my words. An energy that’s positive, confident, and secure. Regardless of what you’d interpret from what I said, you would, essentially, still buy into the story I created with my words. This is the right type of entrepreneurial mindset.

There’s two very, very important things going on here, and that’s what I want to bring your attention to today. This is what we’re going to talk about.

The first, is that your WORDS — the words you speak — direct your focus. Your focus directs your energy. So number one: the words you speak dictate, literally dictate, what your brain focuses on.

If you focus on all the negative, guess what your brain will focus on and find evidence of in your life? Negative things—which hinders you from developing a positive mindset, a mindset of an entrepreneur.

If you focus on the positive, guess what your brain will look for? You got it. The positive.

For example, a positive entrepreneurial mindset will help you become more likely to succeed in business.

See most people don’t realize this. And we’re going to talk about why in just a second.

The second thing I want to draw your attention to here is how when you speak, other people will take what you say at face value, and make an interpretation from it. They’ll interpret it based on their past beliefs, attitudes, and life experiences, and they will ACCEPT it as reality. What’s going on here is really important. This means that the words you say — the ones you’re using to describe the world around you, are literally CREATING the world around you by tuning your brain to focus on them, and because other people will accept what you say as “the way it is”. They will take what you say at face value and SUPPORT your story.

This is why very rarely will anyone call you out on a negative bias. Maybe you have that one friend who you can count on to help you see a different perspective whenever you’re feeling down — this is a friend you will want to keep by your side as long as you possibly can — because most people just accept your negative bias for what it is, and guess what? That continues to play out in your life. That’s what you continue to NOTICE, because, unconsciously, that’s what your brain is focused on. And this is a problem in business—negative thoughts create a negative reality. A positive entrepreneurial mindset creates a positive reality.

Let me give you a really easy example to make sure this is making sense. Maybe you’ve heard this example before used in similar contexts, and it’s a great one, because it’s so easy to wrap your brain around. Ok so let’s say, you are out to buy a new car. You know exactly what make and model you want. Let’s get really specific here. Let’s say you want the new 2019 Toyota Highlander, XLE model. I’m saying this because this is the kind of car I drive so it’s top of mind. Ok and let’s say you want it in pearl white, with the alloy rims and sunroof. You know exactly what you want. You’ve even gone to the dealership to test drive it, and it’s really been on your mind, and you’ve done your research, and you’re 99% sure this is the car you want to get. What happens next? All the sudden, you start seeing this EXACT car all over the road. Maybe you see them in different colors, a lot of the ones you see are the exact same color you want. You start noticing Highlanders EVERYWHERE. And you’re like, omg, I never knew so many people drove Highlanders! And in your mind, you’re like, this is pretty awesome. This must be a really great car. Everyone seems to have them. They’re really popular. This is the car I’m going to get.

Ok let’s pause there — what just happened?

This, my friend, is a perfect example of your mind ATTUNING to the story you’re creating. What your mind is really looking for here is VALIDATION. Validation that you’re making the right decision. Validation that this is, in fact, a good car to buy. Validation that you’re a smart person, this is a smart decision, and that this will be a smart investment. Same goes in business.

And this is what’s so cool about how our brains work: when we tune our focus to something, our mind literally looks for, and attracts that thing to us. The mindset of an entrepreneur is what separates the successful ones from the unsuccessful ones.

This exact scenario happened just a few weeks ago for us recently, when my husband Alan was looking to buy a new truck. One day he sent me a text with a picture of a truck he liked, and it had those black rims, you know the kind that apparently are really popular right now. Well, I didn’t know that’s the kind of style he liked and it kind of surprised me. And I questioned it, I was like - I don’t know about those. Do you think you should get something more classic that won't go out of style? You’re going to have this truck for a while. You want it to look good. I didn’t say any of this to him. This is just what my mind was thinking. If he’s listening to this right now, there you go honey — I wasn’t sure if you were going to love those black rims! But the truth is that *I* didn’t know if I was going to love you driving a truck with those black rims. Ok so what did my mind do? Completely unconsciously, it started looking at trucks on the road. And wouldn’t you know it — you’ll never guess what I started to notice. Trucks with black rims — EVERYWHERE. I mean everywhere. And slowly, my mind started to say, “hmm, that’s pretty cool. This must be a thing. This look is really popular. This must be a good look. Everyone seems to have it. This is a smart move for Alan to buy a truck like this.”

Do you see what happens? Where your thoughts go, your focus and energy flows! Can you think of a time in your life where maybe you’ve had a similar experience? Maybe not even with a car, maybe with a pair of shoes you really wanted, or a handbag you love. Or get this — the type of phone you wanted that time you needed an upgrade. Can you remember a time where you were a little skeptical of something, and then all of a sudden you saw it everywhere, and it changed the way you thought of it? Like leopard print. Animal print is BACK you guys! I’m skeptical. But, I’m seeing it everywhere. Like literally everywhere. And now I’m starting to think it’s not such a bad thing. It’s starting to feel COMFORTABLE.

And this is where things get dangerous. Ok, so let’s turn these analogies back on us, and the words we speak. See, what we speak, what we think, we attune our focus to. And slowly, that develops a pattern of thinking. And eventually, that pattern of thinking becomes a HABIT. And that habit feels COMFORTABLE—which is a problem when it comes to developing an entrepreneurial mindset.

This is dangerous. Why? Because if you’re in the HABIT of speaking with a negative bias, speaking words that are literally attracting that very thing into your life, then you’re going to be in trouble. Negative bias can prevent you from developing an entrepreneurial mindset that leads to success.

You might say things like “Gosh, I am so BUSY all the time!” And everywhere you look, everything you do, will feel busy.

Maybe you say, “I’m so tired all the time.” Or, “I feel so overwhelmed. I just don’t know what the right decision is.” And guess what? You’ll go through your life EXPERIENCING that which you are speaking. Experiencing overwhelm. Experiencing indecision. Fear of not knowing if you’re making the right decision. And it will keep you stuck—which is really a problem if you’re a business owner. If you want to be successful, then you need to think positively and create a mindset of an entrepreneur.

There was a time in my life where I used all kinds of terrible words! Words like Busy. Try. Can’t. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Stressed. Afraid. Stuck. All over the place. Outta control. In over my head. I’m trying. I can’t get it together. I never have enough time. And on and on and on.

And this, literally, was what I attracted into my life. And by attracted, I mean it was the frequency my brain was tuned into, so it was the reality that unfolded for me, it’s what I NOTICED.

Your brain looks for evidence to validate anything and everything you are saying to yourself. And worse, OTHER PEOPLE will accept what you say at face value. They will support you in your struggle. And that’s not helpful. In fact, it hurts you. I mean it’s not their fault, just like you, at least not until the time of this episode, they’ve probably never realized how powerful words really are. So don’t blame them. Your reality is not their responsibility.

It’s YOUR responsibility to write a different story. If you’re a business owner, then it’s your job to get into the mindset of an entrepreneur and to start thinking like a successful person.

Maybe you feel stressed, overwhelmed, stuck, busy… maybe that’s not how you want to feel.

And that is the first step: Identifying what you DON’T want, so you can shift it to what you DO want. 

If you don’t want to feel stressed or stuck, what DO you want to feel? Identify that. That’s step one.

Step two is about changing the language you use to describe your world and your situations. Even that word — situation — some might argue it’s sorta negative! It has kind of a negative bias, right? Is it a situation? Or is it an opportunity? Is it a mistake, or is it a learning experience? Is it an issue, or is it an insight?

You get to choose. Now. I’m going to give you three words that I want you to take out of your vocabulary right now — today — literally as soon as you walk away from this episode I want you to notice when you’re saying these words, and STOP saying them!

I’m going to give you these 3 words to start with, but of course my hope is that you’ll start noticing all of the ways you’re describing things. All of the things you’re speaking out loud, and to yourself, that are creating what you don’t want so that you can shift these, and shift your brains’ focus onto what you DO want. What DO you want to create? What DO you want your story to be? What DO you want people to support you in? How overwhelmed you feel? Or how confidently you take action, even when you don’t know all the answers? Essentially, how can you get into the mindset of an entrepreneur if you want to be a business owner?

You get the picture.

Ok so here are the 3 words I want you to stop using right now, especially if you want to be or are a business owner. These three words prevent you from cultivating an entrepreneurial mindset. Like as of right now, you are going to promise me that you’ll really start to pay attention and notice when you say these words. Better yet have a close friend, or your SO, or your KIDS help you so they can catch you if you say them! You’ll be teaching them an important lesson too.

Word #1: BUSY

Done! No more! You are forbidden to use this word to describe your reality anymore. Now, your brain is going to try to come up with other words, other SYNONYMS — remember those from 3rd grade English class? Other words that aren’t that word, but that say the same thing. “Too much to do” “got a lot going on” “a lot on my mind / a lot on my plate” All of these are versions of the same thing. Don’t fall into that trap that prevents you from developing an entrepreneurial mindset.

This is the simple question you’re going to ask yourself whenever you notice you said one of these words. You are NOT going to beat yourself up, you are not going to feel like a failure, you are going to remember this episode and you’re going to remember that Courtney told you that anytime you notice this, you’re simply going to ask yourself: If this is how I DON’T want to feel, how DO I want to feel?

 So if busy is how you don’t want to feel, how DO you want to feel? Focus on that. If you want to start a business, then it starts with developing the mindset of an entrepreneur.

Word #2: CAN’T

This one’s pretty obvious. I mean, how many things do we go around telling ourselves we can’t do? I can’t do that, because I don’t have enough time. I can’t do that, because I don’t have the skills, or I can’t do that because I don’t have the experience. I can’t do that, because it’s too expensive. I can’t I can’t I can’t.

Ok well I don’t care about what you can’t do. What CAN you do? What CAN you do? What CAN you do? 

Focus on that. Focusing on your strengths and abilities are the first thing you can do to start cultivating an entrepreneurial mindset.

Word #3: (this one is really a phrase, and it needs to go, right now.) “Not enough time.”

Time is not the issue. Time is never the issue. We all have the same amount of time in the day, from your local mailman to Richard Branson, to Beyonce. We all KNOW this. We all make time for that which is important to us. So what’s the problem? “I don’t have time” is a symptom. It’s a symptom that indicates you’re FOCUSED ON THE WRONG THINGS. If you’re focusing on the wrong things, of course you’re not getting the results you want, of course you’re not gonna have time. “I don’t have the time” isn’t a valid excuse guys. You’ve gotta give it up. This excuse creates the wrong mindset, not a mindset of an entrepreneur.

The truth is your focus is just on the wrong things. And that’s ok, we’ve all been there. I’ve totally been there. And you want to know how I started to find more time in my life? This was one of the first steps. I shifted my focus from the time I felt I didn’t have, and started focusing on the time I DID have, and what I wanted to do with that time. This helped me become more successful as I developed the mindset of an entrepreneur.

Look, you don’t need to get diagnosed with cancer, like I did when I was 25, to wake you up to the fact that we only have so much time. What are you doing with that time? If you’re doing a lot of busywork, or worse if you’re CREATING problems that don’t exist, and filling up your mind with worry, and never resting, then yea, there’s a good chance you’re going to feel like there’s not enough time. Like there’s never enough time. Like, if only you had more time in a day, THEN you could get more done, or hit more of your goals, or get more organized, or whatever it is you want to do. If you think in this manner, you’ll never develop the mindset of an entrepreneur and become successful. It’s that simple.

Just start doing those things. Stop saying you can’t. Stop saying you’re too busy. Stop saying there’s not enough time, or whatever version of “not enough time” you default to saying.

Start focusing on what you DO want. What you CAN do. What you DO want to be spending your time on. And do it. You’ll become more successful and truly start thinking and developing a mindset of an entrepreneur.

That’s the bottom-line guys.

Too often, we create our own problems—especially as business owners. One of the big, big ways we do this is through the words we literally use to describe our life. The words we think; the words we say. If we just make a few simple changes, we will cultivate the mindset of an entrepreneur.

Start paying attention to your words. They have power. They are so powerful. They can keep you stuck, or propel you forward. They can make you feel heavy, or they can make you feel light. They can discourage you, or they can encourage you. Your patterns of thinking are really important to your mindset of an entrepreneur.

What words are YOU going to speak life into today? What words are YOU going to speak into YOUR LIFE? What words will help you develop an entrepreneurial mindset?

Ok guys, that does it for today. As always go forth and live your EffortLESS Life®. You’re the best — see you next time.